Wedding costs are going out of control?

I am beyond stressed as I don't know what to do. My initial quote for my ceremony location, reception %26amp; food including the use of the sound system was around $11,000... but we thought that would be too much, so we cut our guest list down. My venue told me that I have to pay to use the sound system, so now I have to get a DJ and she's telling me that the total is going to be around $13,000...





Then I still have the cake, the DJ, the florist, the centerpieces, the photographer...





I honestly don't know what to do. I've put too much money into my venue to cancel out now, but I'm at witt's end. I'm SO frustrated! What can I cut or do to not make my expenses so gigantic?!





HELP!

Wedding costs are going out of control?
Cut your loses and elope! :) That's what I feel like doing some days.





But really...how did the reception place up the price on you? If you don't have a contract, I would do that right now! Don't move forward with them until a contact is signed locking in the price at a certain rate. If you're not already in a contract, tell them you will go elsewhere if they don't come back down to the price they originally quoted you.





Then onto the other things. Have a family member take the pictures for you with a digital camra, or like others have said, find an up and coming photogrpaher who may do it for free or cheap if you give them the right to use your photos in their portfolio.


Have a friend or family member DJ for you off a computer or IPOD. We did this at my aunts wedding and it worked just fine.





For the cake, you can get a small one to do the "cake cutting" if you want, then just get some cupcakes to pass to each person. You could either have someone make them, or buy them at the grocery store, but either way that is much cheaper than a wedding cake.





Make your own invitations. My mom made mine, but with the paper she ended up buying, it still cost like 600 bucks! Wish I would have just done this: Go to Target and buy the pre-made invites. I was just there today and I think it's like 50 invites and RSVP cards for about 24.99!! All you need to know is how to set up your printer for the size of paper and the ink, then you make up your wording and print them out at home! This would be SO MUCH CHEAPER than getting them made or making them yourself with paper you buy elsewhere. (I love my invites, they are beautiful, but it ended up being about six dollars per invite! That is outrageous!!! Most will just throw them out after the wedding anyway).





Don't do "favors" or if you do, do something cheap. I donated $100 to St. Judes Research hospital and they sent me bookmarks to give to each of my guests. They will send you however many bookmarks (or scrolls) as you need no matter how much you donate! If you give $50 and get 100, you are only paying 50 cents per favor! Nice! :) Plus it's helping support a good cause!





Can you change the food options to a cheaper one? If you're having an open bar, change it to cash bar.





Do the flowers yourself. My sisters got their flowers at a weekend market and we put them together ourselves. Don't use flowers for your center peices, as it will be more expensive. Just to something really simple. Use candle holders you and your family have, even if they are all different, or put pictures of you and your fiance on each table. Don't have center peices at all if need be! People eat and then dance, they don't do THAT much or make that much of a differnence! :)





Those are just some ideas on things you can do or change to try to save some money. I completely hear you on the stress though. Everything seems to add up way too quickly. If I knew two years ago, when I got engaged, what I know now about planning I wedding. I would have been married last summer in Hawaii and I would have used the money my parents are helping us with to pay for my siblings and parents to come with us. If there was any left over, it would be a nest age for a downpayment on a house. Seems crazy to spent so much money on one day, but hopefully when the day gets here, the stress will go away and it will be magical! :)





Good luck with everything! At the end of the day, just remember that it's only money, and while it does not grow on trees, it's not the end of the world to be in a little bit of debt :) (That's what I tell myself to make me feel better)
Reply:My husband runs First Class Affairs by Antony and Cleopatras so I know a little bit about what you should do. If you feel like you are being tricked or jerked around for money, let the owner know that you will be going to every single review site (ex yahoo local, google maps, citysearch) and leaving a review for every internet user to see what you thought of your service. Those reviews make or break a wedding facility. One negative report and people will completely skip over the site. Use that to your advantage.
Reply:Have you thought about a price difference doing it on a Friday or Sunday? Also we are using craigslist for alot of our venues like the photographer and florist.


Minimalistic is in with centerpieces. I just went to a wedding where it was green apples in a cylinder vase with a votive in the middle and it looked amazing. I am not sure why you could not get most of your money back if you cancel now. Most places refund at least 75% up to two months before the wedding.
Reply:Do you have a contract? Check out carefully what it actually includes and what it doesn't. If you don't understand what the contract says then find someone that can help you understand it. Once you have all that ironed out, there are a lot of things you can do to save money on the wedding expenses you have left to pay for.





There are some good ideas on this website on saving on wedding cakes, favors, centerpieces, etc. http://www.save-on-your-wedding.com
Reply:Shop around again... find another venue and get their prices and find out what is included in their price. Then talk to the first venue and find out how much you will get back if you cancel with them. You might find out you will come out way ahead if you move the venue. Just don't cancel until you have signed with the second venue.





I just have to say it. You could have a new car for $13000. It's a shame it happened but..
Reply:I have done a ton myself and have said thousands on my wedding! I did my own bouquets, invites, decorations, everything.You would be amazed how much you save just by being a little bit crafty and not ordering from caterers and other companies. I would be more than happy to give you advice on places to shop on a budget if you wanted to do things by hand :) Feel free to email me!
Reply:the only solution is to look for bargins in the cake , photographer dj extra. But your main source to to cut down in the guest list, trust me it is an important day but u do not want to start your marriage in debt, and don't u ever touch your honeymoon money because it is more important.
Reply:check out cakes at Costco or Sams,


also check those places for wedding flowers


look here: http://www.yellowpages.com


type in photography schools


then go and place ad for student wishing to


do your photographs, make your own centerpieces,


and as for DJ ask around your area, or ask question


on this site if anyone knows of a good DJ for reasonable


price in your area, GOOD LUCK
Reply:Do things in moderation. if you are crafty make your own centerpieces. Go to a local college and seek a photgraphy student. There is always a way to have a nice wedding, you will just have to put some more effort into it. I am sure some of your family and friends would love to help you out.
Reply:Why is your location/venue costing $13,000?????? Go over each and everyone of those charges. You can probably cut out a lot there. Don't let her pull one over on you, monitor your charges! Best of luck!
Reply:Get all costs in a signed contract before they keep raising it. Or just pick another location if you don't have a contract because that sounds shady.
Reply:you only have one wedding right?


so what if it costs


you'll enjoy it more x
Reply:Did you have a contract with the price quote in writing? If so then I would definatly question the amounts. On the other hand if you have made changes to the original quote or you have "assumed" some things were included and they are not, then there is really nothing that you can do. I would read over your paperwork 100% and then have a coupld of other people read over it too, get your thoughts as well as theirs and see if you simply over looked and added on or if they infact are not honoring their contract. Remember, other people might see something you have missed. I made the mistake of thinking that my wedding was gonna be "this much" but then in the very very small print, there is a minimum that they charged for Saturday evening weddings at the location we had. Well we only had a 75 person wedding, so their minimum was actually $4,800 more than what we thought our cost was. Even though our food was the top of the line, and we had the open bar option, we still came up $4800 short of their minimum for summer weddings on Saturday evening. Terrible, we definatly did not expect that at all. We were stuck though and had to pay it. The event coordinator never said a word about it, just said, well it is in the paperwork.....in teeny tiny lettering. Like I said, go over the paperwork with more than just your own eyes and see what you come up with. Also talk to the venue and see if there is any cost cutting that they can do, if it is really close to the date, chances are they do not want to lose your business either.
Reply:Either get someone you know to make the cake, or go to a grocery store and have them make it (much cheaper).





Create your own playlist of music for either laptop or I-pod, and get a friend to DJ it.





Forget expensive floral centerpieces that will die in a few days! I hate them the most, actually. That will cut down on both the florist and the decorating. Do something much cheaper. (For example, I'm using black and white photos of us in cheap black frames from Target for $4 each.) There are many DIY projects on the Internet that can be done for little money.





For the photography, forgo the videographer and the album. Get the negatives, and have someone you know scrapbook it for you. Use craigslist or similar to find a budding photographer who needs to grow their portfolio, because they will charge less.





As for the dress (if you haven't already), I didn't like the typical wedding dress look, so someone recommended I look at white bridesmaids dresses. I found both my dress and my MOH at www.barijay.com, and my dress shop sold them for $160 a piece.





Traditional favors are rarely used by the guests, and who cares about small bags of color-coordinated M%26amp;M's anyway? Do something unique and cost-effective.





That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Hope it helps!