So, after asking him a MILLION times if he was fine with our plans %26amp; expenses, him saying yes, it's once in a lifetime, loves everything, etc. All of a sudden, he woke up this morning %26amp; decided it was too much. I'll lose $500 deposit on the venue, had already booked the DJ, florist, baker, hair/makeup, Officiant, have personalized matches, ribbon, bubbles, ceremony vases, even personalized hot sauce LOL! And, he wants to change the date too, so I lose all of that. I'm freaking out right now.
So, now it will be in his Brother's backyard. He just bought the house a couple of weeks ago, he's fixing the yard but it is literally wide open space. No plants, no flowers, just grass, it's like a huge square surrounded by fence. I have absolutely NO idea what I'm going to do %26amp; still pull this off nicely for less money.
Anyone out there whos' names are Anna %26amp; Christian and happen to be getting married on July 27th, 2008 because you can have ALL my stuff! Ha ha!
Fiance just dropped a bomb - whole wedding is changing - help w/ new ideas?
I would tell him I have put these deposits down and want to make the best of this. So our wedding I want to still get married on the 27th. Then all you lose is the deposit on the venue. -500 dollars is nothing because youll be saving gobs of money by doing it at some ones house.
You can keep the sauces, the dj, the officiant, the matches and everything else.... Whew, theres a big break for ya. Talk to the florist the baker, and everyone else and say change of location, we are having the wedding here. Then you have your same crew you planned before, as long as you have a big yard you can do a dj.
Next thing is rent tables for the brothers house for the reception, find a caterer and fill in the gaps for your new location. Get table skirts and dress up the tables, and maybe set all the hot sauce on a table and do a cute little banner with something about a hot day or something on it.
Or use colors you would see in a mexican fiesta and mix up some drinks (blood mary's or something) that have hot sauce or tabasco in them so it seems themed. Now you just have to get creative good luck!
Best bet is to keep day so that you can keep all your stuff, especially on short notice itll be hard to find new officiant and new dj and stuff.
Reply:Perhaps you should point out that by having to change everything, you're going to end up spending more money in the end. Think about all the deposits and favors you've already paid...you may as well have flushed money down the toilet.
You guys need to compromise. Is there a serious reason why your date needs to be changed? That right there is causing you lots of money. There are other ways to cut corners, but don't throw away everything that you have already paid for...that's just stupid.
If you can't compromise now, what is your marriage going to be like?
Reply:Wow, your man did a total turnabout. (Is he aware that backyard weddings can be just as expensive by the time you rent chairs and catering, etc?) You seem fine with this change, though, so Im just going to wish you luck!
For the backyard:
If you have the wedding at night, you can use lots of little lights, that would be pretty.
If you do it during the day, I would spend as much as possible on making the tables really bright and cheery to draw attention to them- and leave the backyard as it is. You know, white chairs and tablecloths, and bright fun centrepieces, with matching bright napkins for example.
Whatever you decide, dont give up! Your wedding will be beautiful!
Reply:You could compromise and have it on the same date but at the back yard venue to cut costs.
I wouldnt worry about people working... No matter what day you have the wedding people will book the time off work the actual day, plus day after if they want to.
The large open space actually sounds like a blank canvas... so you could transform it into whatever you wanted. I'd love to be able to have an outdoor wedding like that but UK weather is never guarenteed!
This way you;d only lose the $500 on the venue but would be saving in the long run as wouldnt be giving them any more money. (depending on how much is left outstanding)
Reply:Check if you can change the dates on some of those things asap e.g. the florist, hairdresser, etc.without losing too much money. If you can't it might end up being less expensive to just keep it on the 27th- a lot of people will take the day off work the next day anyway. I think most of the places would be happy to change to the 19th but since it's a busy time for weddings they may already be booked up.
For the backyard- ask if his brother is planning on doing any planting before the wedding. If not maybe you could bring some potted plants, flowers, trees (borrowed from whoever has them!) to help liven up the backyard. Or buy a couple yourself.
Fairy lights and outdoor candles also look really nice.
I'm not sure of any structures that you might have in the backyard but you could create white sails to hang overhead to add a bit of decoration (as well as protection in case it rains). I had a friend that did this and she attached the 'sails' between the house and a fence. It didn't rain but it made the place look really nice.
Once you put tables and chairs in the backyard it also won't look so bare- and you can decorate these how you like with table cloths, different coloured table runners, candles, flowers, etc. You can hire the tables and chairs, borrow from friends or family or borrow from a local school, church or community center.
You can still have the DJ at the house if you want to, or to cut down costs just make a playlist on a computer and hook it up to some speakers so the music will play all night (if you want special songs for certain times of the night (e.g. bridal dance) you could also get a friend or relative to help who is tech-savvy.
As for food you could offer a buffet, organise catering from a catering company, BBQ, finger food, whatever you like!
I'm sure you'll have a great time!
Reply:Wow. Mr. Bridezilla! LOL.
I'd keep the plans you ALREADY have (since it's going to make your lives a LOT more stressful to change them- and plus, you might regret having to change them!) and instead of just nixing everything you've already done, re-budget.
Go back and see if you really need those personalized hot sauces, DJs, etc. To pull a wedding in a plantless backyard will probably NOT end up saving you money...you'll probably spend MORE just trying to make it look decent!
I can see your fi's point, but see if you can scrape a couple thousand dollars off the top of your budget before doing anything drastic!
Good luck!
Reply:Maybe my fiance and I can change our names in time;p
That's terrible. Did he say why he wants to change it all?
You could still use a lot of the same things: the matches, ribbon, bubbles, vases and hot sauce (hot sauce?!). Since it's still so early, you could probably change the date with the other people you've booked, if you want to keep them. The least he could do is pay the cancellation fee for you.
Maybe he felt like all the decisions were being made for him, and wasn't sure how to regain control of the situation. See if you can bargain for keeping the date (and maybe venue), but getting rid of some of the things he thinks are over the top. Otherwise, get him involved in the planning, since he seems to have his own ideas about it. Ask him to write down a description of the perfect wedding he'd like. Then bargain. You can take 50% your ideas, 50% his.
Then again, I quite like the idea of a backyard wedding, with a vase of flowers on each table, and a jazz band on my parents' verandah.
Reply:I would be putting him right back in his place by telling him actually no you could have spoken up way before now so you can work with me to make this a special day or you can pay for the rest of our wedded life hahahaha no really though why can you not get a giant tent, some vases heaps of garden flowers etc use all the bits you have and make it a splendid day after all it is not about all the fluff it is about two people that love each other and want to spend their lives together the rest is only important for one day. Make your memories worth keeping by working together to have the wedding you both want and can afford then spend the rest of your lives laughing about his radical changes to your personalised hot sauce lol a whole lot
Reply:I am so sorry. I think having read a million of your answers to these wedding questions that you are more prepared than most to make a change like this. I hope you can work things out. I feel like saying something like, see if you can transfer things to the backyard. Also I wish I could say something encouraging. I really want to tell you to pretend you didn't have the conversation this morning and just keep planning the july 27 wedding and see what happens but that probably won't work.
I will say this. If you have found the right man, and want to marry him, then the Wedding is simply one day (an important memory) but just one day in what is sure to be a great life together. Good Luck.
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Reply:Oh my don't know what to say.
Well first start pricing away because back yard weddings usually tend to end up costing just as much after you rent chairs, linens, tables, lighting and other decor just to make it nice. Then think about the money you will be losing and see if you will even come out ahead because it doesn't really sound like you will. Sorry. But let me see if I can think of some budget friendly ideas for ya....
For centerpieces you could use planted flowers that could double as favors. Guests could take them home when they leave.You could buy them at a local greenhouse and save some money on florist expenses. You could use the same flowers for arrangements in your bouquets. Maybe rent picnic tables instead of regular tables and chairs? Don't know if that would be cheaper but then you wouldn't need chairs and linens. Would the Mexican restaurant cater to you? If you could do this maybe you won't lose your $500 deposit and still use your hot sauce. Or maybe find a mexican restaurant that will cater. You could use your hot sauce anyway though. You could buy or rent a nice archway and decorate with greenery and some organza for your ceremony. I am drawing a blank, I can picture it being done nicely though. I don't know if it is possible in your area but the mayor married my mom and stepdad. Would yours do that? It only cost my mom and dad $50 and he came to their house.
Did you still want the DJ? You could forgo the music possibly and save not renting a "dance floor". You could really do without a dance floor but it might be kind of difficult to dance in the grass. If you don't use a DJ you could make a nice mix of party music on CD's to play. Basically use your DJ list and make CD's with your chosen music. Just need a nice stereo with big speakers. I wouldn't lose the DJ though, one of the most important things I think. Well I am drawing a blank now but I would start with pricing things you will need for the backyard because it really may start costing you more.
SO sorry, hope you come up with something. I'm sure you will.
Reply:That was rude.
Reply:can't you still have it on the 27, just in the backyard? That way you only lose the deposit on the venue. You could still use all the other vendors you have. Plus you have all the favors and such.
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