How do I get my fiance into wanting to plan our wedding?

Ok so,


me and my fiance have been engaged since July 03, 07. I moved in with him to make the planning easier so we can plan the wedding anytime we want, instead of having to meet somewhere.





Now, our wedding is in less than 6 months away and we haven't done anything. I started planning the wedding with my friends, he got mad and said, "you are marrying me and not your friends so you should be planning the wedding with me." So I held off everything so we can help me plan the wedding and now we haven't planned anything.





Whenever I ask him to help me, he keeps telling me I should make the calls cause he is busy. And he says, once he is done with everything then he will help me. So what I'm getting at is, the wedding is on the bottom of his list. How do I get my fiance to care for the wedding??





BTW, I got my wedding dress, cause I forced him to buy it cause it was on sale. We talked to 2 florists and that's it.








Thank you in advance.

How do I get my fiance into wanting to plan our wedding?
Maybe mention the fact that if you don't start looking at locations and invitations soon, you'll have to change the date of the wedding. Mostly though, I would sit down with him when he's not busy doing anything else and ask him why the wedding seems to be at the bottom of his list.
Reply:If he's always "too busy" to make a commitment to prepare for your wedding ......Do you think he will change his attitude after you are married, or will he always be "too busy"...... I would certainly consider if this relationship is a one way love affair, before marrying such a person.
Reply:Hopefully you're both mature adults, so you shouldn't be wanting to 'get' him to do anything! And, sheesh, you 'forced' him to buy the wedding dress. Oh, my!


If you are overwhelmed with wedding planning, maybe you need to start over and plan something more simple.


Maybe he's just happy with shacking up.
Reply:talk to him and ask why he doesnt want to help. if he just doesnt, make the wedding involve him too. put in some stuff that he likes to do/what he likes :) hope it helps! but im not an expert....
Reply:I have planned a wedding in just under 5 months so don't lose heart! My fiance used to just smile at me indulgently when I talked weddings and said to me, "that's fine honey, do what you think is best" it drove me CRAZY. So I did the following





I gave him specific tasks and dates when he had to have them finished by. He's been the one that's sourced the caterer and communicated with them on our behalf.





Shopping for his own wedding clothes. I gave him some basic guidelines but mostly just let him decide what he wanted to wear.





With stuff like flowers and cake, things he really wasn't that interested in I came up with 3 different options for each and asked him to pick one.





Men think differently to women, you need to give them definite detail and deadlines. Above all, if he chooses something make sure you have very good reasons for deciding against it,ie: it's not in your budget, some guests are allergic to it etc otherwise he may just wash his hands of the whole thing.
Reply:1. Avoid the passive aggressive tactics. Never healthy.





2. Remember the saying, "It's not what you say, but how you say it." You can say, "you won't help with the wedding because all you care about is yourself!" Result: defensiveness and an argument. Or you could say, "When you say you are too busy to help with the wedding, it makes me feel _________." Result: Likely an apology and some action. Whenever any of us is criticized the natural thing to do is to react. To complain (the second option above) is very different. It isn't pointing a finger at the person and attacking. It invites a response rather than a negative reaction. Then you can find simple ways that he can contribute to his wedding.





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Reply:tell him if he helps you plan the wedding, he gets sex.
Reply:It sounds like moving in with him was a bad move. Now you're living like you're married but not married. No wonder the wedding is at the bottom of his list. Most guys wouldn't care when you're getting married with a deal like that. If he doesn't care then he doesn't care. You need to confront him and tell him that the date is approaching and there is planning to do. If he doesn't want to help then you'll go ahead and plan it but if he does want to help then he needs to get off his butt and help. He needs to decide if he really wants to get married. Generally when anyone, man or woman, wants to get married, they think about the wedding day and want to have a part in planning it. My fiance is helping me organize things even though guys don't usually care as much about detail as women but they still want to talk about it. You're right, wedding planning is at the bottom of his list. You can't make him want to plan it but you need to talk to him and find out where you stand.
Reply:I would just make all the plans with or without him. I am getting married in June and time is running out quick! You need to start getting a move on things. If hes not helping you with the wedding what makes you think he will help you out when you are married. Talk to him and tell him this is a very important event and things need to be done, either with him, with your friends or by youself.
Reply:Maybe theres a reason he dont want to plan it... could he maybe have cold feet or not be ready to get married yet or something? Id say sit him down and explain what it means to you.
Reply:i am having the same problem with my fiance. men tend to want to put things of and not really be a part of the planning process. give him a list of easy things to do like booking the limo's.
Reply:Are you that desperate to be married that you will force this guy into the planning? He's got what he wants....you in the house at his disposal...making it legal is no longer so important now.
Reply:Consult him and let him be a part of the decision making process, but you may actually have to do all the legwork.
Reply:I have the feeling he does not want to get married right now. He should just let you plan the wedding with your friends